No carbohydrate

As long as I can remember I’ve had belly problems. Aww belly problems, sounds so cute. And a bit childish.  My native language is Dutch so give me a pass here, thank you.

Doctor visits left and right. Prescription meds left and right. Graves disease left an right..  This continuing bullshit forced me to look at what the fuck is causing my immune system to turn on me like that? Traitor!
I noticed that with the no more drinking because of the being a raging alcoholic thing, it already went better.  It made me wonder if maybe I drank my intestines to shit, as a figure of speech.  But every now and again I still felt like a balloon.  I couldn’t get to lose weight even though my life has turnt 180° for the better since a small year. In means of taking care of myself, actually moving regulary (I wouldn’t call it doing sports yet) and eating clean.

At a routine blood test for the Graves, I got myself tested on food allergys. A tip, don’t get tested on food allergys if you don’t want to know the outcome.

It said I had a sensitivity to gluten. A sensitivity, not full blown allergy but I’m a sensitive person like that. And yes, there we have it. It’s so epidemic that people actually think you’re a poseur when you say you have that allergy. It’s like you have to take your blood result test everywhere to prove you’re the real deal. You can be allergic to all kinds of stuff and peole will accept. Say you’re allergic to gluten and in the best case, eyes start rolling.

giphy No carbohydrate


Anyhow, the epidemic is real and it’s only this real because they put that stuff in practically everything. Since I accepted it (2 month ago), months after the result, I lost 3 kg’s, my menstruation is à point and my PMS is reduced from 10 days to 0.25 day.  I really wonder what my next blood test will reveal for my goiter.  Gluten/wheat is avoidable.  Especially since I don’t drink beer anymore, with being a raging alcoholic and all.  But it ain’t always easy. Yesterday my family was enjoying a chicken wrap and I try to tag along with a wrap made of rice paper. My daughter asked “mom are you eating plastic?” And it looked like barf in a flaccid broken condom. So, yeah.

What I did manage to make last was a birthday cake for my oldest. I wanted in on the fun so I made her preferred cake vegan (if you use agar agar) and gluten free. Guilt free too because the next day, after I ate half a cake, I managed to weigh less than the day before! I had to eat it because half of the kids knew they didn’t like it. Before tasting it. Because kids are dicks like that. In this case, I didn’t mind.

Ok, I’ll give you the recipe of my vegan, lactose free, guilt free blueberry-strawberry cheesecake

20170422_135718-1024x768 No carbohydrate

Act as followed:
Berrys: Take a bag of blueberry’s and strawberry’s out of the freezer, throw it in a pan and let it boil in with as much sugar as you seem fit.  Let it cook a bit to a firm mass.

For the cake (the bisquit bottom you see here above poking trough the cheesecake). This cake can be used for a fruit cake too. It’s a familly secret to a light and moisty cake so shhhttt, don’t tell any further.

3 eggs – 150 gr (5.3 Oz) sugar and 1 vanilla sugar , a pinch of salt
Flour: 30 gr (1.05 Oz) gluten free flour (I used Schär) asset-990632-1 No carbohydrate, than 30 of that glutenfree flower mixed with baking powder to make my own self rising flour and 30gr potato starch

Mix egg whites and one by one put the yolks with it (keep mixing). Than the sugar, easy does it and the same goes for the flour, that comes last. Throw it in a greased and gluten free flowered tin and put in the oven at – 180°C (356 Farenheit) for 30-40 min (or do the needle test)


500g  Alpro soya mild & creamy/ Soy yoghurt natur 17.63 Oz (the metric system rules BTW), 150 gr sugar, 2 vanilla sugar, ¼ l alpro soya room / 8.45 fl oz (soy cream)  8 leafs of jelly or 2 baggys agar agar.

Put the jelly in cold water, squeeze it and throw it in the hot berry sauce.  Put the hot berry sauce in the soy yoghurt along with the sugar (or taste if you think it’s sweet enough) and pour the half mixed cream with it. 

Pour the goodness over the bisquit and put it in the fridge for a night. That’s it. Enjoy!
P.S.: I made it with jelly so I don’t know how to use the agar agar. It’ll be something I test another time.

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